


Don Carcassa

by MakeItVoid



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Carcassa Famiglia (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!), Everyone Hates Skull - For A Reason, F/M, Humor, Long-Suffering Reborn, M/M, Multi, Poly Arcobaleno, Polygamy, Pre-Arcobaleno Curse, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:25:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakeItVoid/pseuds/MakeItVoid
Summary: Skull sort of trips into becoming a member of the Carcassa family and then from there … it's not any clearer as to how he becomes the Don. Oh, and the Arco are all lovers 'cause why not. (Pre-curse.)





	1. I'll

They creep through the base looking for the stolen car with the corpse of the Don's wife's boyfriend in the trunk. Yeah, that happens a lot in the Mafia, Skull is told.

The stuntman grabs Fon's hand but the other is a martial artist so restricting his hands in any way is best route to getting him killed. Fon shakes Skull off because it's always best to be prepared.

Skull tries holding Viper's hand next but the Mist doesn't like a lot of physical contact despite being one of the first to agree to the polyamorous relationship.

Skull looks to Verde and gets a look that screams Skull is going to get electrocuted if he tries. He doesn't attempt with Lal, the woman is still on the fence about the relationship, so Skull just grabs Reborn's belt instead.

The hitman glares at him but Reborn's actually the quickest to agree to anything. Still hasn't let Skull fuck him but it's been close a few times. Skull will get there some day. Reborn looks away, letting the stuntman cling to him.

They flatten against the wall when loud footsteps are heard coming up some narrow stairs to the main garage below. Fon steps out with perfect timing and puts the man into a sleeper hold before tucking him into a corner while Viper pulls a Mist blanket over the Carcassa lackey, hiding him from view.

They could just storm in but that would be too much effort. Fon is for muscle, to actually carry the corpse, Reborn is here because he likes sneaking around, Viper is for the actual sneaky part of this, Lal is here to keep everyone in line, and Skull came for the nice cars the Carcassa has. Verde is the only one hanging out as control tower and Luce is taking a nap.

They go down the stairs, the heavy metal music getting louder, and curve around a long hallway, passing several large doors. Skull wants to make a joke about it being a sex dungeon, but Viper keeps pinching him whenever he starts talking - the Mist hates layering sound barriers.

Wait, can't he just mime it?

Skull waves his arms around and they pause, looking to him. How...how does one mime a sex dungeon? He isn't sure how to communicate that without speaking.

Skull abruptly decides that humping Reborn is the best way to charades this.

Reborn grabs Skull by the neck and shoves him to the ground, strangling the bastard as the hitman takes a seat on Skull's chest. Viper hunches over, muffling laughter, as Verde's sigh can be heard through the ear pieces. Lal and Fon quickly react, trying to pull the hitman off the poor civilian.

"Clearly we forgot to neuter the mutt," Reborn hisses under his breath to Lal.

Skull keeps making gagging sounds, trying to explain that the joke is about sex dungeons, his feet kicking out with heavy riding boots scraping across the ground. Lal and Fon try to stop the noise, which just so happens to mean that Lal clasps a hand over Skull's mouth and Fon pins down his legs, all the while trying to pry Reborn's hands off.

The door opens then, and like all the doors, it leads to a huge underground garage where all of the familiga spends most of their time, caring for cars and bikes as much as Skull does.

The Carcassa stooge gapes at them and cries out in alarm. The rest of the people also lunge to their feet, dropping beer bottles and grabbing crow bars or guns and rushing the Arcobaleno.

Reborn abandons his attempt at murder and the rest leap up with him, splitting up to better lose their pursuers.

Skull is left wheezing on the floor and just curls up protectively as the stampede rushes him. The Carcassa jump over him, roaring out a battle cry as they chase the intruders.

Skull blinks, stunned. Did they... not see him? He's wearing purple leather; how did they not see him?

Two sets of hands grab onto him and haul him up.

"Are you okay?" A brunet with even more facial piercings than Skull asks.

"Man, that was brutal," the other blond with a tattoo of a third eye on his forehead says. "I can't believe they just held you down and strangled you like that, right outside the door!"

They don't recognise Skull. He's a civilian so his only Mafia ties are the Arcobaleno, who definitely keep his involvement quiet. They erase any CCTV of their missions and no one who sees Skull with them survives to gossip about it - Reborn makes sure of that.

These two wouldn't know him, especially if they're far down the food chain in this family. Plus, everyone here is wearing protective motorbike suits, a good portion of them being purple as well. Skull fits in perfectly.

"Yeah," Skull blurts out, needing to complain. "What assholes! Can you believe they just strangled me out of nowhere? I did nothing to them."

The blond shakes his head in disgust while the brunet pops back into the garage and grabs three biker helmets for protection. It's not as comfortable as Skull's normal one but it'll do.

"Come on," the brunet says. "We have to help."

The two lead him around the base and Skull is so pumped about being Mafia™ enough that he can infiltrate a famiglia like this. The others are going to be so impressed when he tells them!

The three revheads eventually come across several bodies scattered over the floor.

"We should turn back," Skull hisses. If it was anyone else but Reborn then Skull could protect the two, but judging by the bullet holes through each left eye on the corpses...

"We can't," Jacob chokes out, eyes fierce under a heavily bleached blond fringe. "We have to protect the family."

"Don't you want revenge?" Giovanni asks.

"I..." Skull hesitates. These two have no idea what they're in for.

It's too late.

Reborn must have heard them since he steps around the corner, handgun at his side. It means nothing that it's pointed down, Reborn can move pretty damn fast when he wants to.

Giovanni and Jacob raise their own guns but Reborn uses two bullets and half a second to shoot the firearms away. Skull watches as the anger in their expressions melt away into fear at the heavy oppression.

It hits Skull that Reborn didn't kill the two. He didn't straight up kill them - Skull can fix this!

Skull leaps out in front. "Wait!" he cries, snatching up a gun from the floor. "I can't let you do this, you...monster!" He glances back at the two Carcassa. "Run! I'll hold him off!"

The two look worried but fear wins out and they take off back down the hallway to gather up reinforcements. Skull lets out a breath and drops his arm back down by his side when they disappear around the corner, then looks to Reborn.

The hitman is still pointing the handgun at Skull.

Shit, Skull is wearing the Carcassa helmet, Reborn can't see his face. "It's just me-"

"I know it's you, dipshit," Reborn scowls. "Put the gun down."

Skull splutters. "I'm not going to shoot you-"

"Every time you have a gun you always fuck around with it and someone nearly gets shot."

"I'm not going to shoot-!" Skull's flail at Reborn is punctuated by a bang.

Reborn jerks to the side, the bullet just skimming his cheek and leaving a red welt. Pin pricks of blood well up against the wound.

Skull purses his lips. "That's on me." He slowly puts the gun on the ground and raises his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, that's my fault, I love you baby, but I think we should really focus on how no one got badly hurt-"

A bullet pings off Skull's helmet, the hit making him stagger a bit with the impact. Oh thank Satan for Mafia grade armour.

Skull turns and sprints the fuck away.


	2. Love

She flips her hair over her shoulder, long black tresses caressing Skull's face and leaving a hit of mint and lavender to trail through the air in her wake. The red dress is tight all the way from her exaggeratedly pushed up breasts to her wide hips.

"Ow," Skull complains about the hair flip just to complain. He can't say that the dozen shopping bags filled with guns hidden in expensive clothes are heavy. He can't say that because he is a manly man and he lifts weights and shit so this is nothing.

To be fair, Skull was picked because he looks like weak and easy prey and their targets won't get scared off, but he is still very manly  _thank you very much_. Skull is meant to wait outside the shop, hidden around the corner in case someone immediately notices Reborn is a man and the hitman needs backup, so technically Skull is strong enough to be backup, right?

"Lal, please tell him to stop being a little bitch," Reborn mutters.

Lal's sigh is heard through both of their ear pieces.

"Lal, please tell him that he can't put eyeliner on properly," Skull mocks.

The woman whips around to glare down at the man trailing along behind her. "Are you saying you know how to put on eyeliner, you gelatinous fuck?" Reborn asks with a very sharp flick of his wrist, the dozen gold bangles clinking together with the motion to better express his outrage. "Because yours make you look like a hooker."

Skull gasps. "Reborn-"

Reborn slams a hand over his mouth and smiles like a shark.

"We're trying to get Reborn kidnapped," Fon chimes in patiently through the comms. "Let's please not say any names that might scare the sex traffickers away."

Reborn releases Skull's face and strokes a hand loving down his  _sweet, adorable boyfriend's_  cheek, leaving angry red marks from how sharp his nails are when they dig in.

Skull shrinks back, cowed.

Reborn turns sharply on six-inch heels to continue strutting down the sidewalk and Skull hopes the kidnappers are rough with the hitman. He hopes one of them slaps Reborn, right across the face.

Reborn flips his hair again with a violent motion and Skull remembers this man can read minds.

"Just for that, I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home," Reborn warns.

"Quieter," Lal hisses at them.

Several people passing by give Reborn wary looks.

"She's a dominatrix," Skull blurts out at the people. "We're into BDSM, it's fine, it's not domestic abuse. She said it in, like, a flirty way."

Fighting with Reborn is kind of fun though, and it's the best way to get sneaky cuddles when Reborn is agitated, because Skull is a brawler and that means rolling around on the floor a lot.

Reborn giggles in a husky tone and falls back a step to wrap an arm through Skull's shopping bag laden one. "Do you want the riding crop or the knife later?"

"Um, I want Luce when we get home," Skull mumbles. "So you won't use me to get off on your sadistic tendencies."

"Pity Luce is in Germany," Reborn says with that terrifying smile again. His eyes catch something through a shop window and his head swivels to stare at it. "Oh, look at that tie," he murmurs. Reborn detaches from Skull and wanders off.

Skull comes to a halt. "We're not actually supposed to shop..." He looks down the street and can see a hint of the silver and gold shop front of the boutique the sex traffickers own. So close yet so far.

"Yo, Skull!" a familiar voice shouts.

Viper clicks their tongue. "You're in normal clothes, how do they recognise you?"

"I am not made of just my purple fashion," Skull protests, moving to the side of the street so he doesn't stop traffic. "I do have other features."

"Like the stupid eyeliner," Reborn murmurs from inside the store.

Skull doesn't dignify that with an answer (he can't come up with a cool comeback) and instead turns to face the guy who called out his name. "Jacob? Giovanni?"

The two grin and come to a stop beside him.

"How have you been?" Jacob asks. "Shit, I thought you were dead after you fought the hitman."

"Fought me?" Reborn scoffs. "You call that a fight?"

"I scared him off," Skull says easily because he's a pathological liar. "Grazed his cheek with the first shot and he ran. Tried to come back with friends but I got away."

The two Carcassa fawn over him, amazed.

"Reborn," Verde calls out, annoyed. "Put down the ties and chase off Skull's little friends. We have a job here."

Verde gets jealous easily, Skull has learned. It's really cute. It's less cute when Verde lights up with about a billion volts because he thinks shock training is a perfectly logical response to one of his lovers hugging someone else.

A bell chimes with the shop's door opening and a moment later, Reborn's talon tipped hand drops onto Skull's shoulder. "And who might you gentleman be?"

Jacob blinks and then his eye go wide. "Oh. Oh, damn!"

Verde growls quietly and Skull automatically takes a step sideways to try and block Reborn.

Giovanni jabs the other in the ribs with an elbow. "My name is Giovanni and this is Jacob. We know Skull from...work. He's a good man."

"Is he?" Reborn muses, hand moving to comb through Skull's hair, giving him a scratch like you would with a puppy. "Dick is a bit small, but he pays for my shopping sprees so I suppose it's not all bad."

Neither of the Carcassa know what to say to that.

"She's a feisty one, isn't she?" Skull laughs it off. "Anyway, we should head back home now." He hefts the bags. "Definitely done here."

"Oh, yes," Giovanni says, still a bit taken aback. "We should get together sometime though. You haven't been back to work for a month."

Shit. Skull hesitates.

"It was his first day," Reborn picks up smoothly, expression shifting to worry. "I'm not letting him go back there if that happened on his  _first day_. That's clearly a bad omen."

"No, no," Jacob chimes in quickly. "That was just a once in a blue moon thing, a freak accident. They weren't there to attack us, we just happened to have jacked a car that had some...stuff inside it."

"It's true," Skull says. He kind of wants to go back, these two are nice, and this will be a great excuse. "I didn't even get hurt, you know."

Reborn peers down at him but doesn't bother arguing; the hitman only needs the two others gone. "Maybe," Reborn allows. "We'll see. Anyway, it was nice meeting you two."

They say quick goodbyes and the two Carcassa head off down a small lane between shops.

"Who were they?" Colonnello asks.

Reborn frowns at the blond's voice. "Who invited Lal's recruit?"

"No one invited him," Viper mutters. "No one ever invites him, he just shows up and refuses to leave."

"They were from the Carcassa mission," Skull says. "I made friends with them!"

"I don't like them," Verde grumbles.

"Do I know either of the two?" Fon wonders.

"No," Reborn answers. "But it's difficult keeping track, isn't it? The trash tend to blur into the background."

"Come on," Skull sighs, starting to head for the boutique again. "Let's get you kidnapped."


	3. You

"Well clearly it's too late to be sorry!" Reborn snarls loud enough that it explodes from the second floor living room and reaches the rest where they're sprawled over the backyard's grass.

They all jerk upright and look to the open windows. Skull is the only one missing.

Fon is the first to reach them, having vaulted through the window. Viper floats in next while everyone else darts up the stairs.

Skull is in full on dogeza, sitting on his knees with forehead pressed to the ground in apology.

"What-" Lal tries.

Reborn snaps to her, black eyes alight with golden flickers. "He's cancelling on us  _-on our anniversary_ \- so he can go circle jerk with his Carcassa side bitches."

"No!" Skull wails, jerking upright but staying on his knees. "No, I don't want to cancel, I just promised them first. Baby, please, the Carca-"

Reborn literally warps the air with how hot his flames are boiling.

"Um," Skull squeaks. "The-they have a blimp and I've always wanted to fly one so I kind of scheduled it in for the same day."

Verde pushes up his glasses. "A dirigible? I guess I could understand that-"

Reborn's black,  _black_  eyes stare into Verde's soul.

"-that Skull is a disgusting person," Verde smoothly continues. "Leaving his lovers even despite knowing that a date has been set up? Horrendous."

Skull throws up his arms. "Where's your loyalty?"

Reborn bares his teeth. "I've swallowed enough of your cum to drown a lesser man  _so where's you're fucking loyalty_."

"I didn't know you set up a date for our anniversary," Skull tries again. "You never said anything about it."

"It's our one year anniversary, of course we're celebrating it," Reborn snaps.

"I hate surprises," Viper grumbles.

"How is it a surprise?" Reborn scoffs. "It's a fucking anniversary, obviously it's on a specific day - and it's going to happen every year, so you better get used to it, assholes."

"I thought we weren't doing anything," Lal admits too. "Why didn't you tell us to plan for it?"

"I assumed everyone already knew," Reborn huffs. "I mean, I made sure all your schedules were clear. Apparently except for Skull's."

Verde narrows his eyes. "Is...is that why several key speakers went to hospital with cyanide poisoning?"

"It wasn't only cyanide," Reborn hedges. "Your little convention is always boring anyway."

"Well," Colonnello hesitates. He knows Skull's actual plan, so he tries to help in some way to get this conversation back on track. "I mean I've got, like, something on that day as well. So we could...push it back a bit?"

Reborn frowns at him. "What, can you not cancel your playdate either?"

Colonnello then does stupidest thing possible. He tries to brush it off as a joke, tries to make people laugh so the situation will calm down. "Bros before hoes, right?"

Even the rustle of tree leaves being blown by the wind go absolutely dead silent.

Reborn takes a deep breath. "I'm done with you. Forever."

Skull's eyes start watering. "Cuddles?"

"No cuddles," Reborn responds easily.

"W-wait," Colonnello stutters. "We're breaking up? Like seriously?"

"Do I look as if I'm not serious?" Reborn asks, still in a remarkably calm voice.

"For a joke?!"

"No," Reborn answers, fingers twitching. "It's because I'm a whore  _and you're not paying me enough for this bullshit!_ " He snarls, the floor under him warping under the pressure of his rage.

"I made a surprise!" Skull wails, still on the ground. "I worked so hard on it and - and I don't want to do your anniversary, I want to do  _mine_!"

Reborn blinks and simmers down once he understands. "We are not having our anniversary on a blimp."

"Bu-but there are fireworks," Skull says, eyes wide and wet with crocodile tears. "It's really nice, I promise. I put so much work into it!"

"Why don't we do both?" Fon suggests with a peaceful smile.

" _There can only be one_ ," Reborn and Skull declare at the same time.

"How about neither of them," Viper chips in. "Because I hate surprises and I do genuinely have something on that day-"

"She's dead," Reborn retorts.

Viper takes a calming breath, but it doesn't help. "Stop killing my clients, you murder slut!"

Verde tilts his head. "Does he murder sluts or is he a slut for-"

"I don't know!" Viper cries in annoyance. "Yes, both, he's a murderer and a slut."

Reborn raises an eyebrow at them. "I see your insult and raise you the fact that I'm now breaking up with both of you as well."

Verde frowns. "I was just asking for clarification!"

"Um," Colonnello quickly steps in. "I think there should be, like, a probationary period of maybe a week, and if after that week someone still wants to break up, then they can, but otherwise-"

"He's not serious about it," Lal says carelessly.

"I am very serious," Reborn insists. "You and Fon are the ones I really love, everyone else was just for sex."

"That's really funny," Skull mumbles in irritation, poking the floor violently. "Because you still won't have sex with me."

Fon claps his hands loudly before this can spiral any further. "There have been several complaints about surprises, so since we need to know the itinerary anyway, how about you both explain your plans and we'll fit them together."

"Fon," Reborn complains. "There can only be one-"

Fon's smile becomes jagged and Reborn quickly goes quiet. "Come along," Fon says sweetly. "To the table now." He sweeps by and lifts Reborn, sitting the man on his forearm and braced against his chest, plus grabs Skull under the other arm.

Everyone follows obediently because Fon is going to pick them up if they're not fast enough and no one has the strength to fight him off.


	4. Forever

Skull yanks off his helmet and drops it on the ground of the entrance way before kicking it to the side. He takes the stairs two at a time, humming the Disney song stuck in his head, and walks right past the circular table filled with all the other Arcobaleno - even Colonnello because they've given up on trying to get rid of him.

Skull pauses and backs up a little. "Um. Hey guys."

"Sit down, Skull," Luce says.

Fon pulls back a chair for him.

Skull tries to remember what he's done this time but all he can think of is when he walked in on Reborn riding Fon and then asked if he could join in. But it hardly calls for an intervention. Reborn has slept with everyone else here except for Skull, so really it's about time Skull gets a turn with the hitman.

"I will never sleep with you," Reborn deadpans.

"We wouldn't exactly be sleeping, if you know what I mean," Skull winks.

Reborn pulls a gun out and Lal catches his wrist, shoving the firearm away.

"Just sit down, Skull," Lal grits out.

Skull cautiously sits down but leaves the chair out enough that he can run if need be. This is the second floor, but Skull knows how to land properly, he does do stunts for a living after all.

Luce takes a deep breath. "We've noticed that you've been hanging around the Carcassa a lot lately."

Skull blinks. "Yes."

Viper takes over because they think this is hilarious and so they can be a lot more blunt. "Luce is worried you've fallen in with a bad crowd and you'll get into drugs or stealing or -you know- Mafia things."

"No," Luce quickly protests. "That's not what I'm worried about."

"She's worried about you being bullied," Verde deadpans.

Reborn starts laughing.

"I - okay, you're all taking this out of context," Luce says, distressed. "Skull, I just want to be sure that you're not being forced into anything you don't want to do. The Carcassa can be dangerous."

Reborn laughs even harder.

Fon smiles kindly. "It's not that we don't trust you to make your own decisions, we just worry that people are taking advantage of you by pretending to be your friends."

Reborn is face down on the table, wheezing into his hat by this point.

"There's no need to worry," Skull says. "I've made a lot of friends, genuine ones. And they don't do drugs, they just...traffic them, but they also rework a lot of cars and motorbikes and I have a lot of fun racing with them."

Lal leans forward, planting her elbows on the table. "Skull, the Don knows you're one of us and he's keeping you for leverage. If someone attacks the Carcassa then they attack you and so  _we_  have to step in."

"I know," Skull admits.

Several of them stare at Skull, a little taken aback.

"Boss told me," Skull says. "They're an honest bunch, really good mates. But since they're so lax with Mafia duties, they've kind of been on the decline. Boss doesn't have any kids, so he thinks if I become his heir then the Carcassa can still keep their revhead roots without changing too much, because you'll protect me and my famiglia."

Colonnello tilts his head. "You'll become Don?"

"Yep," Skull chirps.

"God help the Carcassa," Verde deadpans. "They don't deserve this."

Reborn finally manages to pull himself together and emerges from his hat, but the humour hasn't left him. "Tell you what, Skull. If the Carcassa last even a decade under you then I'll let you fuck me in one of your ugly cars."

Skull's eyes go wide. "Any car?"

"Any car, any position," Reborn starts listing off as he chuckles. "Whatever you want,  _Don Carcassa._ "

* * *

After Reborn turns legal for the second time, Skull drags him to dinner and then takes him home, only to find all of his cars completely destroyed.

Reborn declares it an act of God despite the garage being underground and protected by reinforced steel. Skull buys more cars to modify but they get destroyed too the next time he brings Reborn back.

The Arcobaleno have all been polyamorous for several decades now, the love never fading despite being trapped in the form of infants, so this continues for quite a while solely because Reborn is dissatisfied with losing a bet.

The only relief is that the others have promised Reborn's second rendition of the first time to Skull, so Reborn has to eventually give in if he wants any sex. The hitman lasts an admirable amount of time considering what his libido was like before he got cursed, but Skull gets him in the end.

To be honest, Skull became the Don rather smoothly.

Fucking Reborn took a lot more effort.

Worth it though.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Skull is not the Don in cannon – only later on even joining the Carcassa famiglia.
> 
> Do I care? Yeah nah.


End file.
